To my friends
I have made it to the second round of the Intuit contest as a professional CPA. I have been struggling of late and face possible foreclosure on my house. My son is struggling and my wife and I are trying to find the proper school for him again and I now am working full time as his advocate and I have been really struggling with depression and recently hospitalized on 4 separate occasions with the need for emergency assistance in all 4 hospitalizations. I have experienced very severe depression, an emotional breakdown and sincere worries for my son and currently I am on disability and seeing doctors at Beth Israel hospital who are helping me.Emily’s vote page
Recently I got so down I tried to take my life out of desperation like my dad did and mom a long time ago but one thing that keeps me going aside from my writing is my son. He truly needs my help but I need to get my own life straight and the help I always needed and finally receiving since I struggle with depression, joblessness, potential homelessness and my gender identity which I knew about since age of 4 and in the wake of my dad’s suicide and my good friend Moises’s death I had to seek therapy and am grateful to Dena, my therapist who helped save my life.
I tried to take it several times but now am going to doctors weekly and I am resting while trying to heal. I don’t know if I can deal with the day to day pressures of life and I stand to lose everything but I am a fighter and I write for my own sanity and survival for Autism, Transgender and Life issues. I am not perfect but I know right from wrong and I know compassion, understanding and acceptance. Sadly I also know why some eventually lose hope and in the end die at their own hand. I must be stronger than that.
I have hope in that I pray, am now advocating for my son directly, going to my doctors and writing to express my pain with the intention of helping my son and also advocate for Autism, Transgender and Depression. If I happen to touch my son’s life to help him to believe in himself and make progress and find his way I will feel more at peace knowing my son will be ok in my absence. If I can do the same for another person to help them to find the courage and faith by sharing a part of me in a meaningful way I will feel I did a noble thing. I am also a registered organ donor so hopefully I can help someone in an emergency situation upon my death.
I am grateful I do have friends I can share with and to be honest as I no longer hide or feel ashamed because I have a story to tell that I feel is worth telling and if I imposed on any one of you for my own self interest I apologize as that is not my intention.
I just feel this contest I have been chosen for participation is a confidence booster for me and may help in contributing to my turn around and coming to feel better about myself.
About a month ago I was so desperate with all our worries I stayed away from home writing a suicide note in hand writing with the intention of ending my life and I planned how and when and then I went home and read an e-mail from Intuit and at the same time a friend who happened to call me the next day urging me to consider this competition to enter sponsored by Intuit to promote your own business. I felt there was a reason for the coincidence and I decided to enter and reply to the e-mail and shared a little about myself. The staff at Intuit like what they saw and qualified me for the next round which I have completed and now awaiting decision If I will advance to the next round and it all depends on voting so as my friends I am asking you to do me a solid and vote for my CPA practice which needs to resurrect itself when I am ready to handle the stress again. For me right now my health and my son’s health is my focus but I also have financial worries like all of us know and I am literally fighting for my very survival. I am not being over dramatic. I am stating the truth and I feel if things do get worse and we find ourselves homeless then I will take my life so my wife and son will be protected by my life insurance.
Technically I am not able to work but I write and I completely revamped my CPA website. I started writing again as I try to help my son and as a form of therapy for myself. Now I dedicate my new found time to advocate for my son behind the scenes by making all the necessary phone calls and speaking at all the meetings with the school and I speak to all the professionals assisting him.
If you are not familiar with Autism not only does it affect the individual. It affects the whole family. I am trying to do all I can but I also am battling depression, transgender struggles and low self esteem issues. I am confident now to go out and present as Emily which is who I am but I try my best to tone down when I am with my son who I love dearly as evidenced in my blog, A Father’s Love My Son and Autism which now has come to include my personal struggles as well. I also do Youtube videos to help give transgender individuals a voice and I plan to continue making such videos. I also plan to prepare some videos to give a voice to parents of autistic children in my own special way as Emily and as a Father.
Now down to business!
I am attaching 2 links which include my CPA website and first page contains a link to view my entry into contest and a vote button.
I would suggest you go through link above the vote button and vote through there so you can vote through all 5 sections which include my video and contest writings.
The second link is my About Me page which is inclusive of most of my social media sites and websites including my CPA website and Autism website which you can click on there, Also included are my blog, Ezines and hubpages website which include my writings.
In addition you can access my About Me page through my CPA website by clicking Link to About Me on the Writings Tab.
Please confirm receipt and let me know if you have any questions.
Your votes would be greatly appreciated.