Life Lessons: Achievement and setting goals and standards

Did you ever wonder what life would be like if there was no competition or no need to prove yourself? If we all were equal and we did not have to worry or strive to succeed and everyone was treated the same then I believe that kind of life would be very boring and provide no challenges. We all have to learn that to succeed we have to set goals for ourselves and work towards achieving them. Some of our goals can be small and we can accomplish them fairly simply and they can also be very difficult and require complete dedication and a great deal of time. If we set a goal that we will save our money to buy a favorite dvd that is a fairly simple goal and the feeling of accomplishment may last a short time. However if we wish to save to buy a new car that will be more involved and require a lot more time to accomplish and the rewarding feeling of driving a new car will certainly last longer but after the first year our feelings will certainly change.

I learned as a kid that we should set goals that are within our reach and we should have complete faith and confidence in our abilities and set forth our best effort. We have to learn along the way and be strict with ourselves and always be conscious of our effort and our progress. No one can give us the drive we need. They can coach us to work to achieve but the drive and ambition has to come from within. We have to really want something to make it happen. I truly believe that if you really want something and you will do whatever it takes to accomplish it then I believe you will achieve the desired results. It may not happen as quickly as you wish but if you persevere then you’re surely to achieve it.

Every day should be a learning opportunity and we should always look upon it as a chance to learn something new about ourselves and an opportunity to make a new friend. We should always have a desire to improve ourselves and to develop new skills that will help us as we grow and take on more challenges. We also have to remember how important it is to have patience in our life. We have to realize that we can not take on the world all at once. We have to take small steps and as we make progress then we work towards larger more involved goals. We also have to enjoy what we are working towards accomplishing.

There are many children who want to win a gold medal in ice skating at the Olympics but there are only a very few that do. The main reason only a few can accomplish such a noble goal is because the time, effort, and skills necessary to achieve such a great moment are not suitable to all. The one who is truly committed and will make the many sacrifices and will fore go a lot of the so called “normal activities” that most of us experience may just have a shot at it. They will be the ones up at 4:00 am to get ice time skating for 4 hours before they start their school day. They will also be the ones on the ice at 4:00 pm after their school day for another 4 hours and then they will complete their homework in between breaks and at home. It is a very difficult schedule to maintain and most lose heart but the ones who stick to it are more likely to achieve their goal.

Even for these highly motivated individuals there is no guarantee they will win the gold or for that matter a medal at all and that just is part of the process that they grow to understand. They understand that disappointment is always a possibility but if they know in their heart that they truly worked hard and tried their best then they have nothing to be upset about. The one’s who train very hard though do show their emotion because of all their efforts. To know you achieved your best and on such a stage is the most remarkable feeling you could ever experience. The one who falls short will encounter disappointment but they should never get discouraged and should continue to stay motivated so they will be able to rebound and work towards accomplishing their goal.

I have always worked on achieving my goals both personally, academically and professionally. We need to always stay focused and never lose sight of what we are trying to accomplish. Now that I have a son I find myself being his cheerleader trying to instill in him a positive self image and a winning attitude. It is very important that we teach our kids that they should find things they like and work to do their best in learning and developing as a person. They should get accustomed to competition and always try their best in all they do. Most importantly they should seek to find happiness and enjoy whatever they are chasing after. They should learn they are loved and they should never lose heart or sight of what they are trying to accomplish. The rewards of trying your best and having the chance to accomplish what you intended will always be the rainbow we all are seeking in the end. We just have to know that we all can accomplish great things and I tell my son this every day in addition to how much I love him and his mommy. I am very proud of my son and will help him in every way I can so he can have a life full of promise and joy which is my best wish for him in his life.

Edward D. Iannielli III

Life Lessons: Wisdom and inner strength

One thing I realize each day I wake up and start my daily routine is that I have a purpose and a reason for my life and I have others relying on me and I need to always stay focused, maintain an inner strength and always draw from my experiences and all that I have learned. In life we will have good days and bad days and we have to ride them out and find a way to best deal with the ups and downs we encounter. My son is the best thing that ever happened in my life and he makes me feel blessed and complete. My wife also gives me encouragement and makes a tough day a bit more tolerable. It is very important that we stay true to the ones we love and that we maintain an inner peace and a sense of ourselves and all that is important to us. It is the wisdom we acquire throughout our lifetime that helps us work through the difficult times we encounter and hopefully resolve them the best way we can.

Personally I have dealt with loss and I know the pain and suffering all too well and I know it is one of the hardest things in our life we will have to face but it is a natural progression that eventually will occur but one we hope never to face though reality says otherwise. It is by far a very difficult matter to discuss with a child and I have tried and realize that my son has an innocence about him and although he knows about death he will not accept or discuss it. I wish not to upset my son so we do not discuss it but I worry for my son and wish to help him understand that we are merely passing through here and will eventually be called to a better place. I wish not to think about it but I realize as I am getting older that I need to plan for my son’s future because I am not sure about my own mortality. We all will have to face it some day but we try not to think about it. It is in God’s hands.

I am the son of an ironworker and a secretary and my parents were both very strong and very loving and caring. I had learned from them and had been given a life full of happiness and joy. I had all the comforts and love a kid could ask for and I wish to extend that to my son so he can feel comforted and loved too. A child is such a blessing and they are so innocent and so happy and I want that for my son always. I wish I could be with him forever guiding, teaching and protecting him. My son is a source of strength and inner determination and he is very intelligent and he always inspires me.

Having an autistic son with epilepsy presents many challenges and concerns and I have had my share of stress and worry over it and I have come to realize that there are some things we have no control over and if I worry about it I will not derive any benefit from it. I just have to always be prepared and have faith and be strong and learn to be at peace so I can always be there for my son. I have had many conversations with my wife about this and she has always told me that worrying does not make it better. Our son is very bright and he can pick up on things like that so it is best to always show that inner strength and to live one day at a time and to live by the words of the serenity prayer my parents taught me a long time ago.

The prayer is as follows:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

It is simple yet so true and it is something I remind myself quite often in life as I ride the many ups and downs. It is always important that we never feel alone and that we always feel loved. I will always love my wife and son as they both are so very important in my life.

Edward D. Iannielli III

Life Lessons: Explaining to my son what it’s all about

I have been lucky to come this far in my life as I have lost a lot of people who were near and dear to me over the years who had a big influence on me and are deeply missed. It seems we have to learn to accept the realities of life no matter how painful and sad they are. We have no control over certain aspects of our life and must learn to live knowing that. We do have control over how we will conduct ourselves and how we will interact and live our lives. We learn at an early age the importance of being responsible and respectful and developing as a person. My ideals, dreams and goals were formed from my experiences as a young child growing up.

My biggest teachers were my parents who taught me all I needed to live my life. School also provided me the education that allowed me opportunity and the ability to learn and question things. Life is very unpredictable and we all must live our life to do our very best and to try not to give in to our emotion or succumb to our feelings. We are not guaranteed tomorrow so when we have another tomorrow we should be very grateful and live each today as if there will not be a tomorrow.

The hardest part of life is the pain we all must experience. We all go through it and in order for us to grow and mature we all will experience death of our closest loved ones. My parents are both gone and I cherish them and the memories I have of them. I was deeply moved by Joannie Rochette, the Canadian figure skater and bronze medalist in the Vancouver Olympics and how courageous she was in the wake of her mother’s unexpected and untimely death. She managed to summon her strength to go on as she knew that was what her mom had expected from her beautiful and very talented daughter. There isn’t a day that goes by where the memories fade. My memories of my parents will live on throughout my lifetime and for that I am grateful as I wish to still keep the memories of them alive and with me in my heart.

Matthew has never admitted that Pop is gone. He deals with his absence in a way where he believes he is still with us but is on a vacation. I have tried to explain the truth to him but he does not want to hear it and truly believes Pop is still here and he will be back. I can not really explain the concept of life and death with my son as he does not want to hear it. I know how difficult these very sensitive subjects can be and I respect and honor my son’s request and wishes. I always treat my son with respect and understanding due to his special needs and his extreme sensitivity.

As my son is approaching his early teenage years I know how important it is to start proper channels of communication with him and to allow him to feel comfortable in expressing himself and talking about all that is on his mind. I don’t admit to have all the answers but as his dad I know how important and valuable a father’s perspective is for his son. A son looks up to both his mom and dad and they are responsible to protect, care and nurture their child and provide them with stability, love and understanding.

To me Life is a mystery and our existence which is a wonderful gift also is a mystery that we all try to understand but realize is just part of the wonders of life and we should never get wrapped up in that thinking. We should just be grateful for what we have and strive for joy, happiness, success and companionship in our life. The biggest gift I can give to my son is my complete love and devotion to him and a deep understanding and patience for him with all his struggles. He has shown such courage and determination and has made friends along the way. Maria and I are so proud of Matthew and wish him to find his joy, happiness, success and companionship also in his life and I hope I will be around long enough to see all his happy occasions and accomplishments. I live for both my wife and son as they both mean the world to me and make my life so much more meaningful and happier.

For Maria and Matthew, I Love you both always and forever!

Edward D. Iannielli III