Spending Halloween with my son and answering some tough questions!

To me Halloween is a fun day for the kids and I enjoy it because my son is still young enough to still go trick or treating. Matthew is maturing nicely because before Maria or I take him out trick or treating he likes to give out the candy to the kids and he likes to count how many visitors we had. I also enjoy giving out the candy and seeing all the cute kids in their cute costumes. All the girls look adorable in their costumes and the little toddlers are so cute. I think it’s a great bonding time for my son and I. This year Matthew had a new costume which was something I picked out at Wal Mart and when I saw it I though he would look nice in it and I felt he would like it too. Since Matthew has an interest in car racing and likes to collect match box and hot wheel cars I thought the pit crew member costume would be fun for him. He really enjoyed wearing it and he looked great in it.

I took some pictures of him in his costume and Maria did as well. It was nice that Halloween fell on a Saturday this year and the weather was pretty good. When we gave out the candy to all our little visitors Matty had counted 51 kids that we gave bags of candy to. He was impressed with the turnout and so was I. The kids really didn’t start trick or treating until after 2:00 pm and then it was pretty busy for the next 2-3 hours. Matty was eager to give out the candy and all the kids were so appreciative and so cute. Matty was also great and the parents of the children were also very kind and thankful and thought Matty looked cute as well and was so generous.

We decided it was time for Matty to go out and grandma would give out the candy to any additional visitors. I took him around the block to most of the houses and Matty was very polite and always said thank you. He enjoys trick or treating too and he talked with the kids we passed and he greeted them and he was very good with all our neighbors and the people in the neighborhood. Matty did well as he received lots of candy which we put aside for him and told him that he can have a little now and to save the rest for another day. Our neighbors are very generous and gave Matty a nice selection of candies.

Matty enjoys Halloween very much and it is a fun day and the start to the holiday season. It is also the time when we set our clocks back an hour and when the sun goes in earlier and the days grow colder. I also like Halloween because we do have extra candy as I tend to over buy because I do not want to run out of candy and disappoint any kids. So I usually get to eat some candy too. We buy a nice assortment of candies and our popular choices are Hershey chocolate bars, Reese’s peanut butter cups, M&M candies, Starburst, Skittles, Dots, Kit Kat’s and Twizzler’s. We had a nice day together and I was pleased to see Matthew having fun and enjoying himself on this Halloween weekend. It really was a fun weekend as we went to see the Michael Jackson This is It rehearsal movie on Friday night which was very entertaining and Matthew, his cousin Kathryn, grandma and I really enjoyed it.

Sunday was a day for resting and a day for remembering as Maria, Matthew, Grandma and I went to pay our respects for my parents at the cemetery and wish my dad a happy birthday, his first in heaven. Matthew has a difficult time with it and we allow him to express his feelings and deal with it the way he feels comfortable. I know his birthday was difficult as Matty asked me to buy Pop a birthday cake to celebrate and I thought it was fine because Matty has such a kind way about him and he wanted us to acknowledge Pop’s birthday like we always have and I thought that was very kind of Matthew to think of him as if he is still here with us and that we should never forget him. My son sometimes enlightens me and makes me realize things that sometimes don’t always seem so obvious. Matty has a lot of insight and he shows maturity beyond his years sometimes and I am so proud of him and am truly grateful for having him and Maria in my life.

It was also important to visit my nephew who died at birth in 2001 and I always have a difficult time visiting the baby section of the cemetery because it tugs at your heart and you can’t help but cry for those little babies who never had a chance at life. I cry tears for all the Moms and Dads who lost their precious little babies and just feel so emotional when I visit that section. It really affects me and I just can’t help but feel sadness and emptiness and as I read the tiny headstones and all the names and see that all of the babies either died at birth or lived for less than a year really makes me feel for those poor parents who must bear so much pain and sorrow. They are all angels and they are protected by God and are at peace and hopefully their parents will be able to find solace in knowing that. I have to keep my son close to me as he tend to run around so much but when he visits at this section he is very respectful and he asks me why these babies had to die and sometimes I try to answer him with the simple phrase that God called for them and he just says but why so young? He really has a kindness about him and I can sense he feels sad and I don’t like to expose him to these harsh realities but it seem almost necessary in life that we also have to understand death.

As we celebrated Halloween and enjoyed ourselves and went trick or treating or gave out candy or did both we realize we are very lucky to be living life and having fun. When we were at the cemetery in the baby section I was struck by something my son said to me and it will stay with me for the rest of my life. As he was reading the headstones for all the babies he said to me if I think the parents of these babies still miss them and what do they do when it is their birthday and are they happy? I had to really think about it and I told him that a parent lives for their child and that is what makes their life so important and when a parent loses their little angel they are never the same and they have to find strength to go on. I told him that these babies are still loved by their parents and will be for the rest of their parent’s lives and when the parent’s are ready they will then be reunited and will embrace their little ones again and my son said he is happy that they will see each other again. He said good bye to little Timothy and we held hands and walked towards the car and we were very touched once again.

Edward D. Iannielli III

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